Natural VBAC Birth Story

I'm finally getting a chance to write Atticus' birth story! I'm not sure now long it will take me to finish, but we'll see. The birth of Atticus was so different compared to the birth of Logan. The biggest difference being that Atticus was a vbac. A vbac is a vaginal birth after cesarean. It doesn't necessarily have to be drug free, but I wanted it to be because of what happened with Logan. I really think that getting the epidural at 9cm stalled my labor and left me "stuck" at that dilation.



Atticus and I bonding

When I was pregnant with Atticus we were currently living in Georgia. I found a midwife office and hospital that would allow vbac water births. In August of 2012 we moved back to Rhode Island and I had to come up with a plan b. Tim found a home birth midwife that would accept vbacs. I was scared, but ecstatic that I could have a water birth. Then 4 weeks before my due date, the midwife called Tim and told him that she had a weird feeling about the birth. She didn't go into specifics, but said that we should go to Memorial Hospital to have the birth. I was pissed.

She referred us to Dr. Magee, who kindly took us on as late patients. Dr. Magee is an awesome doctor! I felt comfortable within minutes of meeting with her. A week later, I found out I had gestational diabetes. It seemed like a 2nd csection was inevitable.

However, Dr. Magee assured me that we would try to avoid a csection. I ended up being able to control the gestational diabetes through diet. I didn't have to take medication. Dr. Magee was also hoping that I would go earlier or closer to my due date. When you have gestational diabetes, they don't want you to go pass your due date because the baby will be "too big". I was too, like every pregnant woman in her last month of pregnancy.

During one of our last appointments before I gave birth, she recommended doing the evening primrose oil method of natural induction. This doesn't automatically pop a baby out, it just helps to soften your cervix. I ordered a bottle from Amazon and received it on January 30th. I followed the instructions and went to bed.

At 4:30 am, on January 31st, I got up to use the bathroom. When I stood up, I felt a little trickle of liquid and I assumed I peed myself. When I went back to bed, I noticed that I was having contractions. I had been having Braxton Hicks contractions for about a month so I wasn't too worried. I went back to sleep and woke up around 6:00am, when Tim was getting ready for work. I noticed that I was still having contractions. These contractions were actually noticeable this time as well. My prior contractions weren't painful so I didn't know they were contractions. These weren't super intense, but I actually felt them. I started timing my contractions on my iPhone at 7:56am. At this point they were happening every 5-6 minutes.



Extremely tired after birth and Atticus is already eating!

I called my doula Jess and she thought it sounded like labor. Since I originally wanted a home birth, she advised me to try to labor as long as possible at home. I called the hospital and they thought it sounded like labor as well. They advised me to come in. I called Tim and told him to come home. He got home around 11am. In the mean time, I was calling family members to see who could watch Logan. My aunt Susan wasn't able to watch him till about 3pm. I sat on a birthing ball, leaned forward onto the bed, to make sure the baby was facing my back. I didn't want another sunny side up baby.

I asked Tim to get me some spicy Chinese food and it was so freaking hot my mouth was on fire. Tim did laundry. I packed the last remaining items I needed for the hospital. I wasn't sure I was even in labor because my contractions were not painful at all. We dropped Logan off next door and we got to the hospital around 4pm.

When we got to the hospital, they hooked me up to the monitor to see if I was having contractions. They were still about 5-6 minutes apart. However, they would sometimes be 7-8 minutes or even 10 minutes. The resident checked me to see if I had broken my water. The test came back unverified. We got a great nurse Ashley who made sure we were comfortable. We basically sat and waited. Everyone was pretty sure I wasn't in labor because I was not in any pain whatsoever. My doula Jess asked if I needed her yet. I told her not to bother till we found out if I was in labor yet. Tim and I ate dinner and watched TV. We listened to the other laboring women scream and moan outside the door.

Then Dr. Magee came in, she was going to check to see if I was dilated and how far along I was before releasing me. She was pretty sure I wasn't in labor yet because of my demeanor. I told her for Logan it didn't hurt till 7cm. She checked me and that's when she found out that I was 5cm already. Apparently, I was in labor. Dr. Magee joked that I better not tell the other women how far along I was. They were all admitted before me and not as far as I was. Also, they were all having harder and more painful contractions. The lady in the next room screaming was only 4cm.

Dr. Magee wanted my contractions to be closer together in order to avoid the pitocin. We did the natural nipple stimulation to get get my contractions more regular. That worked to a point...no pun intended.

The electrode in Atticus' scalp

In the meantime, my nurse Ashley was trying to get the mobile monitor to work in order for me to walk. This would help my contractions and I could avoid pitocin. For some reason it wouldn't work and we decided to do the internal fetal monitoring. In order to have a vbac, I had to agree to continuous monitoring. It was hospital policy. If I wanted a vbac it was something that I had to put up with.

With internal monitoring an electrode with a tiny spiral wire on the end is inserted through your cervix and screwed into the surface of your baby's scalp. When the electrode was placed into Atticus' head another bag of water broke.

After that was done I walked around the labor & delivery floor and the recovery wing as well. I remember it being really hot that day because of the weather. My l&d room was boiling. The windows were open in the recovery wing and it was awesome to feel the breeze from outside.

During the walk my contractions were getting stronger by the minute. I remember telling my husband that we should have called Jess earlier. When we walked to the nurses' station a contraction hit me so bad, I had to lean over the desk. Tim told me that one of the doctors threw their clipboard down to help hold my back. I kept walking and doubling over in pain when the contraction would hit. I told Tim to call Jess. She arrived quickly and we decided to head back to the room. My contractions were getting so strong that I couldn't stand up anymore.

So red!

We decided that I should sit on a birthing ball and lean over the hospital bed. We wanted to make sure that this baby would not be sunny side up. Dr. Magee decided to check me to see how far along I was. I was at 6cms.

I was so disappointed. I couldn't believe that I had only progressed 1 cm in what felt like 3 hours. In reality it was probably 20 minutes. I had to go to the bathroom.

When I got to the bathroom the pain was excruciating. I called out to Tim and he came in. I started having flashbacks to Logan's birth, when I cried in the bathroom because of the pain. I didn't really cry this time, but I was telling Tim that I wasn't sure how much longer I could do this drug free.

I came back into the room and started telling Jess, Dr. Magee, and Ashley that I needed the epidural. They kept telling me that I could do this and Jess was telling me to give into the pain. They were all very encouraging, but at that point I felt done. It was 10:00ish at night and I had been laboring since 4:30am.

Jess held my back and hips while I was on the birthing ball to ease the contractions. She had Tim try to do it. I told him to go away since it didn't help. She came back and sat behind me. In between contractions I was begging for the epidural. Dr. Magee said that the anesthesiologist was coming they just had to set up the bolus in my hand. I found out later that they were all pretending that the anesthesiologist was coming. They knew that I wanted a natural birth and they were stalling.

I told Dr. Magee that labor this time around was a lot harder than it was with Logan. With Logan's birth the pain wasn't bad till I got to 9cms. The second time around it felt like the pain was worse and coming quicker. I didn't even think about the epidural till I was at 9cms with Logan. The pain was manageable.This time around I was begging for it. Jess kept reminding me that I wanted a natural birth, that I wanted to avoid the csection. I told her that I didn't care, that I just couldn't do this. She told me to moan the pain out, at that point I just had to hold it all in.  I kept wondering where the hell the anesthesiologist was. Why was he taking so damn long?



Atticus Finn is here!

Then my body involuntarily shot back and Jess caught me so that I wouldn't fall off the birthing ball. I grabbed Ashley's arm and I told Dr. Magee that I was pushing no matter how dilated I was. I felt the most insane pressure to push. I couldn't stop the urge to push no matter what. Dr. Magee decided to check me to see how far along I was. I was at 10 cms.

I had progressed from 6cms to 10cms in about 20 minutes. That's why it was so painful and worse than the first time around. I thought the second birth would be easy because I handled 9cms, on pitocin last time. Pitocin makes your contractions stronger and more painful. However, last time I didn't dilate 4 cms in 20 minutes. It's nice that it goes by quickly, but the quicker it is, the more painful.

Dr. Magee tried to deliver the baby on the birthing ball, but she didn't have enough room. She asked me to hop on the bed. I said absolutely not. Then, I got a quick break in contractions and jumped on the bed in one second. Doctors and nurses started running into the room with equipment.

Then it was time to push...

Logan is petting him like a dog

I have heard of women pushing for hours. I was in so much pain, that I told myself that this was going to be fast. I was screaming louder than I had ever screamed before. Jess and Dr. Magee told me to focus it on the pushing/moaning because high pitched screaming wouldn't help. While the screaming made me feel better, focusing on the pushing does help. I had asked for no guidance  in pushing and to just let me push when I wanted to. They agreed to my wishes and let me push when I felt the need. Then I started pushing and the baby was almost there. I pushed again and he crowned. I finally got to experience what people call the ring of fire. It felt like someone lit a match and threw it onto my vagina. I started pushing harder so that I could get rid of that pain.

Finally, they held up the baby and I saw that it was a boy. Atticus arrived at 11:07pm. I only pushed for 15 minutes. He was ready to be here and I was ready to get him out.

Atticus was immediately given to me all gross and new baby like. He started breastfeeding immediately since he's a fatty :) Tim was able to cut the cord.


First kiss from his big brother!

Natural birth was physically one of the most painful experiences of my life thus far. I'm not going to lie. I can't even describe what the pain of a contraction feels like. The pain from Logan was definitely easier to manage because I dilated a lot slower.

However, the recovery from this, as opposed to the csection, was a million times better. The recovery from the csection was horrible compared to the recovery of natural birth. I would pick natural childbirth over a csection any day.



I was happy that I finally got my natural birth that I had wanted when I first got pregnant with Logan. I am grateful that Dr. Magee, my nurse Ashley, and my doula Jess helped me achieve that goal.