Baby Raising, Crafts, Food, and Zombies...: Horn rimmed glasses don't make you smarter...asshole

I'm pyschic and annoyed that these glasses will become cool

This Hollywood trend of black horn rimmed glasses to make you appear intelligent really aggravates the shit out of me. When I was little I actually wanted to wear glasses. I have no idea why I wanted them, but I did everything in my power to make sure I could get them. I would sit as close to the T.V. as humanly possibly. Every time my mom would tell me to back up I would, then when she walked away I would press my face against the glass.

"Scorned woman" glasses

My plan worked at the age of 9, I was told that I needed glasses. My first pair of glasses were plastic horn(ish) rimmed ones. My Aunt Karen told me that wired rimmed glasses were dorky and plastic ones were what was cool. Honestly, I think she just wanted to make sure I wouldn't break my glasses because wire rimmed ones are more fragile.

My first pair of glasses

I decided to get plastic purple ones and I still can't believe she let me get them. They were the epitome of "this kid should get beaten up for these dorky ass glasses" glasses. When I find a picture of me wearing them I will post because WOW they were really bad. However, I did find this awesome picture of purple horn rimmed glasses that were very similar to what mine actually looked like. I really do think that these might have been the ones I did wear.

"Fake bake preggo" glasses

"I cheated on my wife" glasses

In middle school I decided to switch over to the wire framed ones because I realized how freaking dorky the plastic ones really were. The wire rimmed ones weren't that much better I looked like an owl with my huge round wire rimmed glasses. I think my plan of wanting glasses was starting to backfire. I didn't realize that when I got older I might not want to have any. Especially since I wanted to wear make up and feel pretty. Plus, it was a pretty well known fact that you couldn't be pretty if you wore glasses. Whenever, the dorky girl gets made over in movies the first thing to go is her glasses at least that was the case in the 90's. Now she's the leading character and only puts on her hipster glasses when she's doing something smart in a movie.

"Smuggy Mcsmuggerson" glasses

When I finally did get contacts in middle school vanity won over. I wore them all the time because I could use eye make up. I went through a period in middle school where I would only wear contacts. It got to the point where I lost the contact for my left eye and would only wear one contact for about 6 months. I didn't want my mom to get mad at me for losing the contact, but I didn't want to wear glasses again. I finally admitted the truth, got in trouble, and stuck with glasses.

"Guido wants to be taken seriously" glasses

Sophomore year I decided to get black horn rimmed glasses. This tiny screw always popped out of the wire rimmed glasses and the lens would come out. I would have to hold my glasses together till I could find a really tiny screw driver to fix them. It was a pain in the ass and that's why I decided horn rimmed glasses would be less maintenance. I always kept a pair of contacts in case I wanted to go swimming or dress up.

"Hip-Hop moguls need to appear smart too" glasses

For a brief time in high school I wore contacts because I wanted to try something different. Then laziness won over vanity because I realized it takes a minute longer to put contacts in than to just put my glasses on. The up keep also became too much of a hassle for me. I would sleep with my contacts on all the time because I was too lazy to take them out for naps or just before bed. I would wake up with them glued to my eyeball and it would take hours to peel them off. I always had to remember to bring the case and cleaning solution with me everywhere I went. It was way too much work to deal with.

"A sex tape made me famous" glasses

"I'm actually a lesbian" glasses

Now, whenever I have to get new glasses I stick with something similar to what I always get. It's easier than trying something new which is a very boring way of life.I think I've gone through 5 pairs of black or tortoise shelled glasses. I think maybe I'll branch out next year and get those awesome purple plastic ones again. They probably only make them in child sizes so I may have to get them customized. Maybe, add some bling to it in the form of rhinestones or if I wanted to be really classy, Swarovski crystals.

"Can I be a bigger douche?" glasses

What really irritates me is that you hardly ever see these celebrities with glasses on. I wonder if these glasses are even prescription. Some of them don't even look like there are lenses in the frames.Usually celebrities only wear them when they're trying to appear less mainstream. It's so stylized and phony. They all know that "geek-chic" is in and what spells geek more than black horn rimmed glasses? Then you have all these hipsters hoping on this bandwagon like with those fucking mustaches. I want to commit glassescide and start wearing contacts, but I'm way too freaking lazy. The only time I'll wear contacts is when I want to be pretty and wear eye make up.